Dear Military Spouse

You often go without recognition. You take bullets in the form of words- being called “dependa” and your children get called “brats”. Your integrity and reasoning for marrying your service member is often questioned and said “it’s just for the BAH, for the discounts, for Tricare”. Then on top of all of this you get told “you knew what you were getting into” or my absolute favorite “you chose this life” when you have any sort of human moment that shows weakness because this life isn’t easy.

I want you to know, I see you. I see you juggling your schedule, your kids schedules, the FRG, play dates, work, cleaning, cooking, appointments, and good friendships that are few and far between. I see you doing all of this all by yourself, without ONE single person to rely on to help you. I see you working retail jobs and putting your career on hold so he can have his while you care for the family. I see you writing someone you don’t even know down as an emergency contact and I see the worry on your face as you think to yourself that you hope an emergency truly doesn’t happen. I see you as you deal with emergency situations without your spouse or family by your side. I see you turn down calling the red cross because you can handle broken bones or surgery without interfering the mission. I see the bags under your eyes because you were up late waiting for a phone call, an email, or some sort of sign that your service member is OK and thinking of you. I see your compassion and your love for your spouse as you patiently wait for them to come home. I see your tired, overwhelmed, tear filled face when they come home. I see you let your children hug your service member first despite you wanting to jump into their arms. And most importantly, I see how you don’t choose this life.

You choose your spouse, no matter what job they have, no matter what obstacles come with it- you choose your spouse- every single day. Don’t let anyone discredit you. You didn’t know this life you were getting into and the only benefit you’re in for is the love you have with your spouse.

I’m so proud of you for all you do- for being a solid foundation for your family through your service members time of service and for always choosing your spouse despite what the job description is.